So, it's been a few days. Sorry, been busy watching my friend suck up the internets, formulating blogs in my head that will never see fruition, and generally being too tired to lift a keyboard. (which isn't really that much of a stretch since I'm fond of 12 hour days and metal-contact keyboards)
Interesting day today. Got mooned by a female Homeland Security agent. Finally figured out why women want to lick my tattoo, and maybe found a new outlook on enlightenment.
The last week or so has been very strange. Now would be where I wax poetic about these shadowy blogs that lurk in the equally shadowy recesses of my mind, but some of them hit a little too close to home for things that I'll share with the Great Unwashed Masses (This means you! Take a goddamn shower!). Here's something I've always wondered but never bothered to find out: does the period go before or after the parentheses? Does it depend on context?
And in the spirit of Monty Python's Flying Circus, now for something completely different.
M: It's been a long time.
J: Who are you?
M: Don't recognize me? Last time you saw me was over a decade ago. I must not've been all that memorable.
J:Huh? What the fuck do you want?
M: Nothing. Not a thing anymore. Just wanted you to know I'm better than you.
J: The hell does that have to do with shit?
M: Alot, I suppose. I have a car, a house, and an honest job. I served my country. I served my family.
J: No kids?
M: No girl. Don't really need one I guess. Maybe I'm afraid it's hereditary. No point hurting someone like that.
J: Fuck you!
M: I guess if I did have one, I could still do that better than you.
J: Why did you bother coming way the hell out here anyway? Just to make fun of an old man?
M: Maybe. Maybe I just wanted to see you before you die.
J: So, want a beer?
M: No, I dont drink. I'm fighting heredity every step of the way.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is something that will never happen.
But now it's time for sleep. Theres a cop at work with a grudge and a plastic pistol. I have to take him back to school tomorrow.
sunlight in the winter
7 years ago
2 comments:
i like your blogs matt. you need to write more. p.s i found that black folder you gave me like 7 years ago. its on my parents garage. im holding it hostage till you write a novel. lol.
its kinda hard to write a novel when the first chapter is being held hostage...
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